Friday, December 22, 2006

Sentimental Moment or Why Did the Baguette Cross the Road? by Robert Hershon



Don't fill up on bread
I say absent-mindedly
The servings here are huge

My son, whose hair may be
receding a bit, says
Did you really just
say that to me?

What he doesn't know
is that when we're walking
together, when we get
to the curb
I sometimes start to reach
for his hand

Introduction to Poetry by Billy Collins

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

Those Winter Sundays by Robert Hayden

Photo by Robert Varnham


Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices?

Remeber when cartoons were blantantly racist?

Check out this children's classic - Coal Black and Da Sebben Dwarfs.

More classics are available on this list of the 50 greatest cartoons (although "greatest" is subjective, especially since my personal favorite isn't listed).

Brighton Blues Redux

Apparently someone was listening to my pleas, because when got home from work yesterday, Brighton was finally open! How long it will last is anyone's guess, as there is still a significant portion just north of 72nd street that needs to be widened. For now, dashing through the snow will be just a bit easier.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

I'm just sayin'.

I don't know about you, but whenever I read about teenagers using over-the-counter or perscription drugs to get high, I think, "Hey, thanks for the tip."

YAYAYAY! (picture me running around gleefully in circles)

John Hodgman's wonderful book, The Areas of My Expertise, is available as an audiobook FOR FREE on iTunes. From the first couple of minutes, it is the greatest audiobook ever read ever ever ever. Ever. Holy crap, the more I listen, the better it is. You. Must. Listen. Now.

Did I mention I love John Hodgman?


Brighton Blues

In late summer of 2005, some friends bought a house right up the road from us. Driving straight north on Brighton, we can get to their house in 3 minutes. Then, about a week before they moved in, construction began on Brighton closing the road from 72nd street northward to highway 152. Now, instead of a 3 minute trip, it's a 8 minute trip, thanks to detours. No big deal, except that the road has been closed for over a year, and has been essentially finished for about two months. There are still barricades preventing its use, but we've taken the road a couple of times, in both our car and our Jeep.

Here's where I get pissed: Since the road is done, except for the removal of barricades, I see more and more cars travel the closed route every day. Apparently a bored cop looking to spread some Christmas cheer noticed too, because the rumor is that an officer was parked on the closed road last week dishing out tickets to motorists wishing to save time by driving down a finished Brighton.

This Brighton project has gone on long enough. The road is finished (for now) - let us use it. To the asshole cop who thought he was so clever staking out a closed road, merry Christmas, and i hope a lump of coal hits you on the head.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Last minute gift idea.

I know this is all over everywhere, but with good reason. Dick in a Box is probably the funniest thing I've seen in a while. I just cracked up typing that. Dick in a box. Haahhehee. Dick in a box. That is seriously funny.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Hey guys! Watch this!

iFilm has compiled a list of the top viral videos of 2006. Make sure to check out:

Leprechaun Hunt - Classic in so many ways.
Good Day, Mr. Kubrick - Surprisingly, there is no IMDB entry for this guy.
Average Homeboy - The white rap movement is in good hands.
The Easter Bunny Hates You - Who knew the Easter Bunny was a psychopath?
Hyper - Lasse Gjertsen is an editing whiz kid.
Seinfeld: The Lost Episode - Incorporates Kramer's stand-up comedy.
People's Court Interview - Moustache.
Sesame Streets - Scorsese does Muppets.
Tetris - Really big Tetris.

This list leaves out a personal favorite, Lazy Sunday. Oh - and also from SNL, Taco Town.

Here's a few of the best from 2005, in case you missed them:

Numa Numa Dance - This one started something. I don't know if that's a good thing.
The Gap: Pardon Our Dust - Who hasn't wanted to do this to a Gap store?
Kennedy: Your Mama - Who's lovin' your mama after the parent-teacher conference?
Is This the Way to Armadillo? - Excellent video made by British troops as a morale booster, based on this popular British video.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Since U Been Gone

Horny Manatee. “The product of our love shall be half a man, and half a’tee.”

From Writer’s Dreamtools comes a reference of history by decades, a timeline of people, fashion, entertainment, events, etc. from every decade since 1650. This is truly fascinating reading, and a remarkable resource for writers.

Video based on an 11-year old boy’s experience with a bully. “I hate Drake. Because he sucks, that’s why.”

Urban Dictionary harbl. ytmnd harbl. RideMonkey harbl. Flickr harbl.

Art Trip

I'm a total sucker for oddball, almost grotesque characters. I suppose I can blame it on my early fascination with all things Muppet, or the trippy Sesame Street animations I absorbed on a daily basis between ages 2 and 7, or perhaps it was just an overexposure to Beetlejuice. At any rate, I am thrilled to have discovered beinArt's surreal gallery.


Friday, December 8, 2006

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Telegram.

Sore throat. Stop. Achy, coughing, sniffles. Stop. I wish this would stop. Stop.