Tonight the Seacrest looks like a Wall Street broker about to hurl himself off of a very tall building. The moment of truth arrives when we get o see if we are dealing with Sober Paula or Drunk Paula. Aw, who cares – Paula’s a twit.
Paris – Conga (Gloria Estefan)
I never liked this song, and Paris isn’t helping. She’s got a lot of pep and energy and is a very good performer, but she chose a terrible song this time. Simon is right as usual when he tells her that she has great youth and enthusiasm, but vocally her performance was just okay.
Lisa – Where I Stand (Tiffany Taylor)
She should have picked something more up-tempo and known by the audience. But she didn’t, and I don’t know if this is just a weird song melodically, or if she’s, as Randy says, really pitchy. I, like Simon, am getting really tired of the little girl singing grown-up songs routine.
Melissa – Listen to Your Heart (Heart)
Rock out, girl. Her voice is so cool on this type of music. Her problems come with the sort of high, forceful portions of the song, where she sounds sort of strained. I don’t know if she can make it through to the next round, though. While I do like that smokey voice, I don’t know if the voting audience will feel the same.
Kinnik – If I Ain’t Got You (Alicia Keys)
Do you hear that? It’s the same death knell that peeled when Heather attempted Mariah Carey last week. Remember contestants – if you are going to take on a big talent like Alicia Keys or Mariah Carey, you have to be better than good. You have to be outstanding. Buh-bye, Kinnik.
Katherine – Think (Aretha Franklin)
Excellent song choice. She is showing such versatility with her choices, and every time she just owns the song. I have nothing negative to say about Katherine. And neither do the judges.
Ayla – Unwritten (Natasha Bedingfield)
Ayla is butchering one of my favorite songs, and for some reason, the judges don’t care. Why do they like this girl? Seriously – send her home to play basketball again now, people. Ayla just totally creeps me out and she must be stopped. What’s that wrinkle-thing she tries to do with her face? GOD PEOPLE – QUIT VOTING FOR HER!
Mandisa – Every Woman (Chaka Khan)
Mandisa sucked her thumb longer than I did!! I love her. Talk about a stage presence – this girl – no – this WOMAN – has it. Mandisa literally gives me chills, and I am so glad she is in this competition. Can I get a WOOO WOOOOOOOOOO!
Kellie Pickler – I’m Not the Only One (Melissa Etheridge)
You may have noticed I left off the last names of all the previous performers, but I can’t get myself to leave out the Pickler. Everyone loves the Pickler! Good thing the Pickler is so likable, because her vocals were, to use a Simon phrase, utterly forgettable. They were good – better than some others even, but her vocals are not nearly as likable as her personality.